Random lists and life's important questions

So I've been playing around on Facebook where all these lists are flying around; 25 Random Things, 48 Random Things, the Name Game,and so on. While I find them to be informative and entertaining,I really think our time could be better spent considering the more pressing questions in life. You know, the really deep important ones, not these trivial things like what color pants I'm wearing. (They're blue jeans, by the way.)
For instance: Where do all those bleep bleepity bleepin' socks go? I buy socks by the cartload, bring them home to the boys, and those suckers just go everywhere. I find them in the bookcases, in the car, behind the toilet, in the refrigerator, and millions of other places. I find them everywhere except with their mate in the laundry basket. Is there a little invisible sock gremlin in my home?


Also, are there really 24 hours in each day? I don't believe it. If you get on the computer or have multiple errands to run, time accelerates at an unnatural rate, and you never have enough. But some hours seem to last forfreakin'ever! Like sharing time in Primary on Fast Sundays. Am I right? This must be a grand deception.

And is there some kind of weird word twister thing in the air around mothers? You know, so when you say "go put that in your room" they hear "leave it in the middle of the floor so I will trip over it when I'm carrying a huge load of your dirty laundry." There must be, or some kind of hearing impairment that only occurs with the tone of your own mother's voice. That one I guess is ok, as long as they understand me when I say "I love you" it will all work out in the end. But life would be more pleasant without that doohickey.

Or, where on earth do boys put all the food they eat? I am sure that research grants given to study endangered belching frogs in a far away rain forest would be better spent discovering food that would actually fill those bottomless pits we call sons.

Oh, I have lots of others, like why does our dog Rocket always burp right in my face and nobody else's? Or why does the laundry multiply like tribbles when you take it to the laundry room? Why do I enjoy torturing my kids with the high pitched sound grenade that William can't even hear? (is it sick and wrong?) And on and on. I'm sure everyone has a list of similar questions that keep them awake into the wee hours of the night. Maybe we should post those on facebook and put the mighty minds to work on them. And if you have the answers, please leave them so I can finally get some sleep at night!